That's not Kaisa. That is Cana, at one month old. My firstborn child. Cana, who is now officially a SIX year old. You heard me (read me?) right! My heart hurts a bit when I really let myself digest that fact. My heart also soars though! Everyday I am proud of her and I love watching her grow into the beautiful little lady that God created her to be. Now look at this picture:
Just barely 2 year old Cana and itty bitty newborn Loyal. My heart catches in my throat looking at these old photos. Where have my babies gone?! That tiny baby boy just turned FOUR years old! I'm not kidding! Where oh where has the time gone? Here's another for ya:
Yep, that precious baby is newborn Judah. He still has the same little round face. Just not as little. In less than 2 weeks time, he will be TWO years old. Even though he is the size of a 3 year old! LOL. He's my little big guy. I remember snuggling him and nursing him like it was yesterday. Time goes SO fast once you have babies! Their lives are slipping by, each day they do something new, they grow a little bigger, they take another step away from childhood and toward adulthood. Don't blink or you might miss it! Just look at them now!
How can those little squishy babies be so big now? In a blink! As I watch Kaisa grow so quickly that you can almost watch it happening in real time, and then I look on my big kids and see how very quickly they are growing up, I am completely overwhelmed by parenthood. It's such a joy and a blessing. It's also such a huge responsibility. I have so many hopes for their lives. Things I want them to experience, memories I want them to be able to claim, lessons I hope they learn, character traits I hope to see instilled in them. And as the days and weeks turn into years gone by, I wonder if I am doing my best by them. I wonder how they will remember their childhoods and how that will effect their adult lives. Am I teaching them well? Are they really listening?
Being a parent also leads me to think of the heavenly Father, and how he sees us, His children. As much as I love and adore my children, God loves them, (and us) even more. Far more. When I gaze into my baby's eyes and my heart literally aches with such love for her, that is merely a weak reflection of the Father's love for us. Can you imagine? And so I ponder, what does God think when he watches us, His children carry out our lives? I imagine He has many hopes for our lives too. He has a plan for each of us. Are we paying attention? Our lives are passing us by, years slipping away... how much of that time has been wasted? Lost forever. What could we have done that we didn't? What path did God lead us to that we didn't take? And what consequences will that choice have for us, or for the lives of those that we were meant to touch... but didn't. God's speaking to us everyday. Through his Word, a sermon, that still small voice. Are we listening? He is gripping our hearts, trying to melt the walls we have built. Through that homeless man with the sign on the corner, through the pleading eyes of a child. Do we feel it? When we hear, does it change how we live? When we feel, does it move us to act? And for all those times we look away, we choose our own path, what does God think of that? I think he is grieved. Grieved for us and for what we are missing out on. Grieved for those who we could have shared His love and truth with. He sees how short this life is. He knows when we are leaving this world. Our time is finite. How are we using it? It's gone in a blink. Don't miss it.
